


Working Through It

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 16:02:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11016762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: One to add to the collection of stories on how Aaron copes with the baby news. It's not come out quite like I intended, but then it never does with these two!!





	Working Through It

**Author's Note:**

> Believe it or not, I intended this to be a smutty story, but in the end it only has about two or three lines of that, before feelings and life gets in the way! I've spent most of the day tweaking this, so I hope it's enjoyed.

It’s been six weeks since Robert had told Aaron the truth, the uncomfortable, dirty, painful, honest truth. And Aaron had stayed, trying to work it out. They’re not there yet, probably won’t be until after the baby’s born, and every time he sees Rebecca on the street, looking a little plumper around the stomach, it made Aaron’s heart stop for a moment. The physical obvious evidence that Robert had cheated. Aaron believes Robert didn’t want her, believes that it was a mistake Robert regretted, not just because he’d got caught… because after all, he came clean before he had to, didn’t he? The baby was a constant issue for Aaron to cope with, some days were harder than others. Probably was going to be a problem for him to think about for the next few months until Robert’s child arrived. But he couldn’t think about her all the time, or he’d go mad. If he was going to obsess over Rebecca and Robert having sex, and the obvious reminder of it, then there was no point even trying with Robert, and he should have cut and run right from the start. And he wasn’t going to do that, because he loved Robert, and wasn’t prepared to lose his husband to a drunken mistake and an overly obsessed blonde.

But Aaron couldn’t deny that he missed Robert. Yes, they were living together, and they were sleeping in the same bed, but things weren’t right or even approaching normal. And Aaron missed the casual affection from Robert, the touches, the passionate kisses, the desperation. And quite honestly, the sex. A major part of Robert’s attraction in the first place had been how unstoppable they were in bed together. And then when they’d tried in a genuine honest relationship, it had just got better and better, Robert being more open and… well, Aaron had never known sex like it, and honestly? He missed it badly. And no matter how much it might hurt in the long run, what with the complications of Rebecca plus one, Aaron wanted his husband badly, but Robert wasn’t offering anything physical.

Robert hadn’t pushed for more, beyond a couple of kisses hello and goodbye when they went to work, a hug here and there but nothing more. He hadn’t initiated anything physical and was being almost annoyingly respectful of Aaron’s boundaries. Or what he thought and expected Aaron’s boundaries to be anyway. They were sleeping in the same bed, and they did curl up together occasionally, but one of them usually got tense after not too long and the moment was broken. Robert seemed to be too careful with where he touched Aaron, like he was afraid he was going to be pushed away. In fact, he was being so careful in keeping his wants to himself, Aaron had debated whether Robert was sleeping with someone else. Only briefly, but the thought was there. After all, Robert’s sex drive was legendary. Part of what got them into this mess in the first place, Aaron thought uncharitably. Then knew that wasn’t fair, because one thing he did know, it wasn’t lust for Rebecca White that got them into this mess. It wads a mixture of hurt, anger and fear laced with alcohol.

Aaron wanted more. One night he was waiting in bed for Robert to come home. There’d been an accident on the motorway, which meant Robert was stuck in traffic from his meetings. Aaron hated himself for it, but he’d checked the local news. Just in case. Robert hadn’t lied to him since, but the rebuilding of trust would take time, he wasn’t stupid enough to think otherwise.

Aaron lay in bed, naked, hoping that maybe Robert would firstly be in the mood, and secondly would take the hint. He didn’t have long to worry about it, he heard Robert’s car in the driveway and he felt very keyed up when he heard Robert’s climb the stairs. Which was stupid, why was he filled with nervous anticipation about sleeping with his husband? They must have had sex a thousand times by now, and he was nervous?

Robert came into the bedroom and looked at Aaron, who smiled at him. “Hi,” he said softly, leaning over to kiss Aaron hello. Aaron responded willingly, and Robert’s eyebrows flicked up in surprise at his enthusiasm.

“Good day?” Robert asked.

“Mm,” Aaron said, kissing him again. “You?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Could have done without the traffic jam on the way home, but yeah, the meetings went well.” Aaron smiled. “You know what I get like when I get going.”

“I do,” Aaron said, smiling. Maybe it would be a good night, Robert was always in a good mood after having negotiated in those meetings of his.

“I’m just going to have a shower, I feel dirty. It‘s been a long day.”

“All right,” Aaron said, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Are you okay?” Robert asked, seeing something across Aaron’s face.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I’m fine.”

“Good.” Robert kissed his lips softly before taking off his jacket. Aaron watched the way Robert’s muscles move under his shirt as he walked through to the bathroom and knew he wanted him. Aaron waited until he heard the shower running, then the two or three minutes he knew it took to warm up before following Robert through to the bathroom. He did slip a pair of jogging bottoms on though, not entirely comfortable at throwing himself at Robert with how fragile things could sometimes be for them right now.

Robert hadn’t locked the door (thankfully) and Aaron walked in, taking in a breath of steam before sliding back the glass of the shower. Robert’s eyes popped open about two seconds later, but it was enough time for Aaron to realise exactly what he was doing. His hand was wrapped around his cock, eyes closed and body writhing at his own touch.

He looked embarrassed at Aaron’s presence, and probably would be flushed if the water wasn’t already heating his skin. “What…” Robert started, but Aaron was looking at him. All wet freckled skin, and the lust came to the front of his mind. He needed Robert to touch him, now.

“So, you’d rather stroke yourself off than touch your willing husband?” Aaron questioned with a raised eyebrow, quite enjoying having caught Robert at a disadvantage.

“I didn’t know you were willing,” Robert said quietly. He wouldn’t have blamed Aaron if he never wanted to touch him again. After all, Robert seriously screwed up, this is his fault. Just to still be in the same house was enough, he wasn’t going to pressure for sex.

“Can I join you?” Aaron asked. Robert’s eyes flickered in a yes motion that was so familiar to Aaron he couldn’t stop his heart from racing. Aaron didn’t even stop to take the jogging bottoms off, just stepped under the shower spray, putting his hands on Robert’s hips, enjoying the touch.

“So what made you decide to come and play with yourself?” Aaron teased, keeping his voice light.

“I came home and found my gorgeous husband shirtless in our bed,” Robert said. “I wanted you, and I’ve not been touched in so long…” he then cut himself off. “I’m not complaining,” he said, backtracking. “I know I lost that, I know, and I haven’t wanted to push, but sometimes… it’s difficult. Because I do want you, so much.”

“You haven’t acted like you want me,” Aaron said.

“I don’t get that right any more,” Robert replied.

“You were almost… like you didn’t want to touch me.”

“Don’t ever think that,” Robert said. “I want you so much.”

“Prove it,” Aaron challenged, biting his bottom lip for a moment before reaching up and kissing Robert. Robert was restrained at first, but then sunk into it, devouring Aaron’s mouth like his life depended on it. Robert slipped his hands down to Aaron’s jogging bottoms and Aaron nodded quickly before Robert pushed them down, leaving them in a puddle on the bathroom floor, and his husband gloriously naked. Robert smiled into another kiss as Aaron wrapped a thigh around him, and suddenly there was no stopping them. It was like the dam had been broken and Robert’s lips and hands were everywhere and it felt blissful. Like he’d been starving for it.

“God, I love you,” Robert whispered into his jaw.

“I know. Oh, don’t stop that,” Aaron said, enjoying Robert’s fingers toying with him.

“You’ve put weight on,” Robert whispered, eyes glinting with humour.

“Cheeky git,” Aaron said, though he knew it was true. And the way Robert was stroking his stomach didn’t leave any room for offence. 

“Robert, I need you hard,” Aaron begged. “I need to feel it for days.” Robert grinned, a hint of the old Robert there as he pushed Aaron up against the tiled wall. It didn’t last long, and was definitely on the more aggressive side of things, because of how long they’d been abstaining, but it was passionate and needy and perfect for them both.

* * *

 

“I need a drink,” Aaron said from where he’d crumpled on the shower floor, a smile on his face.

“You’re looking happy,” Robert said, with his own grin.

“Let’s go downstairs, I want to talk to you.” That made Robert’s smile fade a little, now more anxious. “Just… we’re okay,” Aaron tried in reassurance. By the time they got down the stairs, dressed in old T shirts and jogging bottoms, Robert had slipped into total fear as he reached for the whisky, hand shaking. They sat opposite each other around the table, Aaron drinking his beer before starting.

“We need to talk about the baby,” Aaron said. “Properly.” Aaron had wanted to talk for a few days now, but he always found it easier to communicate with Robert through touch, always had. Now that the gap between them physically had been bridged, he found it a little easier to start the conversation that would hurt. Most likely hurt them both.

Robert’s face fell completely and he looked horrified. “Oh. Was that… upstairs, was that goodbye? Is that all I get of you?” He looked at the table, swallowing uncomfortably. “Well… At least I got to touch you again.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Yeah,” Robert said, though it was the most unconvinced Aaron could remember hearing him in quite some time. “Okay.”

“Robert,” Aaron said calmly. “I would not sleep with you just to leave, I’m not that cruel.” He looked a little bit more reassured, but not much. “I’ve been thinking about it, now there’s things I need to say without you interrupting, or trying to smooth things over, okay?” Robert nodded.  
“It’s just… she has something of you that I can never give you. And that knowledge is hard, Robert.”

“It means nothing to me…” Robert said desperately. “Aaron, I won’t see the baby. I’ll have nothing to do with it, she made the decision to do this on her own.”

“Look, before I came along,” Aaron started, determined to see this through. “You always considered yourself straight. It must have entered your head that one day you’d want children. Children that are yours.” The look on his face made it clear that it had been something Robert expected from his life. “I think… it would hurt me less if you had just gone to a bar and slept with some stranger.”

“It wouldn’t have hurt less,” Robert said.

“No, I think it would,” Aaron continued. “This hurts because it was someone you knew, who knew you. It was someone who was everything I’m not, a woman, rich, she could give you the life you’d planned for yourself. Before I ruined it all.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Robert said sharply. “I have a life with you I never thought I’d get. Well, hopefully, if you’re still talking to me in a few months time. Don’t ever think you destroyed anything for me.”

Aaron didn’t answer that. “If you’d gone and screwed a random man, or woman, I’d be able to believe it was just sex more easily. But I keep thinking she can give you something I can’t because you keep going back to her. And she’s carrying your child, so she’s obviously giving you something I can’t.”

“Aaron, I don’t want her. I never really wanted her, I just knew she liked me, so I used her.”

“Even all those years ago?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I’m not stupid, I know who I was then. She was easy to use, whatever that makes me sound like.”

Aaron sighed, but came back to the point in question. “The baby. You can’t have nothing to do with it, I know that.”

“I can.”

“Stop being so bloody stubborn!” Aaron snapped. Then more calmly. “Stop telling me what you think I want to hear. Be honest with yourself, if not me.”

“I don’t want this,” Robert said almost desperately. “If I was ever to have a family, I’d want it with you. No one else.”

“Well, next time you cheat you might want to use a condom,” Aaron said before he could stop himself. “Sorry, that wasn’t…” he took a deep breath. “Sorry. We are where we are now, going over that won’t change things. And I am prepared to let a one night stand go, I said that weeks ago.”

“I know you did,” Robert said. “Still waiting for you to change your mind, though,” he added softly.

“I’ve been thinking over the last few weeks about her, and the baby. Trying to work out how I can cope with it. If I can manage being a stepfather to your child.” That sentence shocked Robert, and he looked dumbfounded. “What?” Aaron asked.

“I just… never thought about it that way,” Robert said.

“Well, I’ve had to,” Aaron said bluntly. “I’ve been trying to think, can I cope with seeing your child all the time, having him or her monopolising your time every Christmas, every birthday for the rest of our marriage?”

“And you’ve decided you can’t,” Robert said heavily.

“No,” Aaron said. “I’m sure you didn’t want a teenager introduced to our lives when we started to make a go of it properly. I’m sure that wasn’t in your head.”

Robert frowned before making the connection. “Well, that’s Liv isn’t it?” Robert said dismissively. “She’s your family, and despite trying to ship me off to prison, I did warm to her. Eventually.”

“Exactly,” Aaron said. “I’m not saying the next few months, seeing Rebecca carrying your baby is going to be easy… actually, it’s probably going to be hell on earth, but I think, once it’s born, I’ll be able to cope with it. Because it‘ll be yours.”

“Aaron, don’t put yourself through it,” Robert said. “I’ll stay away from Rebecca and the baby.”

“What, and you want your child to have any of the abandonment issues we both have, do you?” Aaron asked sharply. “Want him or her to say “My dad didn’t give a stuff about me.” I know you don’t.”

“This wasn’t how this was meant to happen,” Robert said quietly. “Not like this.”

“But here we are.” Aaron sighed. “Most likely, there’ll come a time that I look at… your daughter, or your son and I’ll just see you. And him or her, not the rest of it. None of us can help where we came from after all.”

“Aaron, you can’t…”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” Aaron said. “I need you in my life, and if you’d had a child when I met you… it wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“No,” Robert agreed. “It wouldn’t have stopped me either.”

“I’m not saying I’m always going to be this calm about it, I’m not saying there won’t be days that I’ll feel like killing you for what you did to us, but… I’m going to try. If you want to try.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Robert said.

“Remember that for the next time you’re tempted to sleep with a cheap blonde,” Aaron said. Robert flinched, making Aaron feel guilty for the offhand comment. “I’m with you, and I’m going to stay. But I get to keep the right to be slightly pissed off at times. Okay?”

“That’s more than fair.” Robert gripped Aaron’s hand across the table tightly. “I don’t know if I can do this, Aaron, it’s such a bloody mess.”

“You’re going to have to,” Aaron said carefully. “And so am I.” Robert could feel the tears coming but he didn’t get the right to cry, not after making this mess. Until he felt Aaron’s arms around him, then he couldn’t hold back any more, sobbing into his husbands arms.


End file.
